


K.O.

by Chiefchopstix



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Banter, Dialogue, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26503894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiefchopstix/pseuds/Chiefchopstix
Summary: At the detox facility where I am currently employed, we have a thing called "Weight Wednesday." It's a weekly weigh-in for patients to make sure they're putting on healthy weight. Whenever a new patient asks, "What's 'Weight Wednesday'?" I always tell them we use the information to assign weight classes for our boxing competition with another detox facility. This story came to mind for some odd reason.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 23





	K.O.

DC Boxing Club: Saturday morning.

"Come on, Scully. It will be fun."

"I don't know, Mulder. Someone might get hurt."

"You don't punch too hard. It's just sparring. Plus, we're wearing pads. Logically, any injury will be superficial at best," Mulder coaxes Scully. "Just a couple of rounds. You and me."

"Give me the gloves," Scully reluctantly agrees.

"Yes!" Mulder exclaims.

Mulder helps Scully with her headgear, chest and groin protectors, mouthpiece, and ties the laces on her gloves. He then puts on his own gear and gets ready to spar with the love of his life. 

"Where's your headgear?" Scully asks while standing in the opposing corner.

"We're just sparring, Scully."

"This is a terrible idea." 

"You're not gonna chicken out, are you?" Mulder clucks for added emphasis.

"Did you just call me chicken?"

"I didn't realize Navy offspring were so soft," Mulder teases from his corner.

"I dare you to say that to Bill, then we'd see who was soft."

"Does Bill fight all of your battles?"

"Keep it up, Oxford."

"Or what?"

"You're right. You don't need headgear, but it's a good thing you're wearing that groin protector."

"Ouch."

"When do we start, Spooky?"

"Ding ding," Mulder mimics the sound of a bell.

Both combatants approach the center of the ring and touch gloves. Scully has both gloves up in a protective stance as she keeps her feet moving. Mulder follows her movement in a relaxed fashion while jabbing occasionally. Scully lands a left into Mulder's midsection, then tries to attempt an immediate right hook, which he avoids easily. He then responds with a right to her protected left cheek. 

"Isn't this fun?" He asks in an attempt to break her concentration. Scully does not lose her focus, and connects her right fist to Mulder's chin. Mulder removes his mouthpiece, "Who are you? Mike Tyson?"

Spitting out her mouthpiece, Scully replies,"I barely touched you."

"My turn," Mulder says confidently. 

He slaps his gloves together and makes his way towards Scully, bobbing and weaving. As soon as he's close enough he makes an attempt to fake her with his right, then followed with his left. Instinctively, Scully catches his misdirection. She ducks, and connects...."MULDER!"

Assistant Director Skinner's Office, FBI Headquarters, Washington, DC: Monday morning.

Mulder and Scully wait for Skinner in his office. Skinner's secretary, Arlene, brings Mulder an ice pack while they're waiting, "Did you get into a fight?"

"Something like that," Mulder replies, and thanks Arlene for the bag of ice while glaring at Scully.

"You can hardly notice it," Scully attempts to ease Mulder's mind.

"Don't lie to me. It's gotten worse."

"He probably won't even say anything."

Walter Skinner walks into his office reading over a file, "Sorry I'm late. I had to take a phone call." He has yet to redirect his eyes from the file as he sits behind his desk. "What do you two have....Holy shit! What happened to you?!"

Mulder stammers, "I...."

"Sir, Agent Mulder and I were sparring and I accidentally punched him in the face. It looks worse than it is," Scully says while blushing.

"Did Scully break your nose, Agent Mulder?" Skinner asks.

"Yes, sir. But...." Mulder is interrupted by Skinner and Scully laughing. "I don't think it's that funny."

Skinner tries to suppress his laughter, "You look like a raccoon."

"I'm aware of that, sir."

"Didn't your father box at Annapolis, Agent Scully?

"Yes, sir. As did my brother."

Mulder looks at Scully dumbfounded, "That would have been nice to know."

"You were too busy taunting and teasing me."

"What do you have to say for yourself, Agent Mulder?"

"I am very sorry for taunting my partner in the manner in which I did. I was acting juvenile."

"Agent Scully?"

"Apology accepted."

"Mulder, you look like shit. Take the week off."

"Thank you, sir," Mulder says from underneath the ice pack.

"Did you drive him here, Agent Scully?"

"Yes."

"You can have the day off to drive him back home. I will see you tomorrow morning."

Scully stands up, grabbing Mulder by the arm, "Thank you, sir," and exits Skinner's office.

Fox Mulder's apartment, Alexandria, VA

"I just want to stretch out on my couch and watch some TV, Scully. Is that too much to ask," Mulder snaps.

"Mulder, will you please lay down on your bed. I can prop you up on some pillows. You'll be more comfortable."

"Ugh, fiiine."

"Were you like this as a child?" Scully asks.

"I never had a broken nose as a child, so no I wasn't," Mulder says as he lays down on the pillows Scully has arranged neatly on his bed. She removes his shoes and places them in his closet.

Scully leaves his bedroom and returns with a glass of water and his pain medication, along with a fresh ice pack.

"Thank you," Mulder says as he places it on his very bruised and swollen face. 

"I feel awful for hurting you."

"The only thing that really hurts is my male ego," he states.

Scully lifts the bag of ice from his face and gently places a kiss on his forehead. "Better?" She asks.

"A little bit."

She places a gentle kiss on his bandaged nose, "How 'bout now?" 

"Getting there," Mulder says with his eyes closed.

Scully then softly kisses his lips, whispering, "All better now?" And as she pulls away she realizes Mulder has drifted off to sleep.

•END•

~ The X-Files are the creation of Chris Carter.

**Author's Note:**

> At the detox facility where I am currently employed, we have a thing called "Weight Wednesday." It's a weekly weigh-in for patients to make sure they're putting on healthy weight. Whenever a new patient asks, "What's 'Weight Wednesday'?" I always tell them we use the information to assign weight classes for our boxing competition with another detox facility. This story came to mind for some odd reason.


End file.
